


Dr. Sexy

by MoodyAquarius



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Artist cas, Destiel - Freeform, Domestic destiel, Fluff, Gift Work, M/M, Nurse AU, Nurse Dean, cutie patootie nurse Dean, destiel au, hospital au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2018-03-04 02:09:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2905379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoodyAquarius/pseuds/MoodyAquarius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Destiel AU where Dean is a nurse and Cas is a stay-at-home painter. Established relationship. Dean has a rough night at the hospital and Cas just wants to make him feel better. <br/>Fluffy smut. <br/>For Avery, Enjoy!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElvisRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvisRose/gifts).



> merry Christmas ya filthy animal

"Grande shot in the dark, please"

Dean received a blank stare from behind the counter at the desolate coffee shop between wings three and four. He didn't recall ever meeting this young barista. The blank expression on her face was complemented by a pile of messy bleach-blonde hair pulled into a ponytail as her lips quirked around the lip gloss shimmering off them. She couldn't have been older than sixteen; her name tag read "Kenzi" with a heart dotting the "i".

"Got it," called a voice from the espresso machine. He did recognize that voice, and grinned as the familiar face of the graveyard shift manager turned around. Connie shooed the girl away, leaning against the counter and smiling,"Sorry. Trainee."

"I figured." Dean chuckled, fishing his Starbucks card out of his wallet. He met Connie's buttery brown eyes,"How's that going?" by the look on her face he could infer it wasn't going too well.

She rolled her eyes and wiped her hands on her black apron, checking behind her to see if the girl was gone. She was. Connie tucked a strand of her thin dark hair behind her pierced up ear, sighing, "We just shouldn't hire any younger than 18 is what I think."

Dean chuckled. They exchanged cards, as usual. In a flash she had already banged out the shots for his coffee, tamping them down and hooking them up in the machine, all in a fluid movement and turning to take Dean's folded wad of three dollars. He dropped a couple dollars in her tip jar.

Connie grinned, a strained expression,"So how's Picasso?"

Dean smiled, scrubbing a hand at the back of his neck absently, "It's… well, as you know… art is a 'process'."Connie set the much-needed drink on the counter between them. Dean brought it gratefully to his lips, no cream or sugar. Cas would cringe. He took a needy gulp, shivering as the caffeine passed down his throat, sending a warming chill. "He's good though. Doing fine."

Connie, the graveyard shift barista, was one of the few people Dean let into his personal life at work. He just didn't want to deal with the entire hospital staff's various reactions about his home life; what their two cents were about a homosexual couple. It just wasn't  worth it to him, it was easier kept a secret.

Connie rubbed a wet sanitizer rag across the counter, "That's good to hear." She threw a smirking glance at Dean, "Would be nice to meet him sometime, y'know."

"Yeah, yeah." Dean sipped his coffee, casting his gaze off at the stock photos of coffee beans and cups trademarked Starbucks across the bottom.

"I'm serious. Knowing you, he's got to be great. You wouldn't settle."

"What do you mean 'settle'?" He grinned tiredly, picking at his nametag and glancing at her expression. Connie was an attractive thirty-something woman who had just gone through a very nasty divorce and was battling for custody of her ten year old son. For all the shit she dealt with, she somehow managed to work a graveyard shift at a Starbucks and look like the star of a B-list movie.

"Well," She wiped at the fridge handle, "You're an attractive man. I'm curious to see your type." Dean felt a blush creep up his cheeks.

"Thanks."

"I'm serious. What does he look like?"

Dean tilted his head, debating whether or not to tell her. He decided there was no harm, not like anyone but him and a few other interns ever came in during her shift. He sat at one of the little cafe tables, sipping his drink. "He's… always in some sort of goofy little sweater, he wears thick rim glasses, he has dark brown hair and… the bluest eyes."

Connie made a disgusting "awww" coo at him, murmuring, "You are soo in love."

Dean stood from the table, feigning a grimace,"I don't know why I come here."

Connie chuckled, "See ya next time, babe."

He turned and flipped her off with a grin,"Thanks for the coffee."

Connie was always nice for a visit, nice to take a break from the constant shitstorm that was Washington State General. In the heart of Seattle, this hospital never got much peace or quiet. Dean entered the elevator, taking it to the wing where his cubicle was located, hoping to get to his desk and finish his charts before any stupid doctors asked me to do their job. That's how it always was, nurses flying in and saving doctor's asses, saving them from giving the wrong prescription to the wrong patient or flat out poisoning them. Nurses do all the heavy-lifting,"Doctor" is just an expensive title.

Dean muttered to himself, tossing his empty coffee and hurrying to close the space between him and his cubicle. He made it, taking a much-needed seat at his desk and unlocking his computer to get the data sheets filled out, just as a white coat brushed up to his cubicle. "Hey, Dean, would you do me a favor and check up on Mrs…" he looked down aimlessly at his clipboard, "Tanner? For me?"

"Tyler."

"What?"

"It's Mrs. Tyler. Room 224."

"Oh, I-" He scrambled at the clipboard.

"Yeah, I'll go." Dean sucked in a breath, picking up his clipboard, taking a quick glance,"She's the burn victim, husband died, apartment fire? Needs more morphine."

Dr. Nick gave an impressed grin and a point of the finger, "That's why you're  the best of the best, Winchester."

Dean faked a grin, trudging off to room 224.

………………

Finally, at seven AM, Dean's shift ended, he finished the majority of his paper work and clocked out with a tired sigh. He began the long journey home, reaching the elevator, to the garage, to the shuttle, to the metro station, to the apartment complex. By the time he got done with it all the sun was chasing him up the buildings. The air reeked of fresh fish, right off the coast. He didn't like the smell, but he felt that without it he would feel empty and out of place. The markets were just opening as his day was just ending.

He entered yet another elevator, to the seventh floor, nodding at neighbors as they passed through the old, creaky hallways. He jingled his keys into the doorknob, with a yawn and entered, finally, home at last. He dropped his messenger bag at the door, kicking off his tennies and letting his thick parka slide from his shoulders. He yawned wide, looking around the cramped little place, seeing Cas was brewing coffee already, wondering what he was doing up so early.

"Cas?" He walked through the small living room into their bedroom, which was the second largest space in the entire apartment. In bed, curled in piles of thick comforters was the one thing that kept him sane through it all. He smiled and crawled up into the queen-sized bed, hovering over Cas, running his nose up the side of Cas' face.

He groaned, eyes fluttering, "Deeean." He tried to roll but was trapped under Dean's weight.

Dean nibbled at his ear, "If you're not awake, why is coffee brewing?"

"Ever heard of a delay brew?" Cas groaned, pushing up against Dean.

"Oh," Dean blushed, feeling stupid. He moved from Cas, getting up to roll the blinds shut, then returning to bed, peeling his scrubs from his body, crawling into bed next to Cas in his starchy boxers. "Sorry babe, let's go back to sleep." He reached out and cuddled into his back, pressing skin against skin and sighing contently.

"How was work?" Cas yawned.

"Same as always." Dean yawned back. They spent a few more minutes making small talk, but each drifted during the conversation and fell back asleep in the manufactured darkness as the sun crept up over the waking city of Seattle, bundled in warm blankets and each other's arms.

…………..

By the time he woke again, the sun was hiding behind the shoreline, casting rays of pink and orange across the sky. A cold cup of coffee sat on the nightstand beside him. He pulled his head up out of the pillow where his face had been mashed for hours. He felt groggy, still tired, as if the hours of sleep had done nothing but add to his exhaustion.

He reached out beside him in the bed, feeling only cold sheets, the body heat of his roommate long gone. He dragged himself out of bed, picking up the cup of coffee and wandering, red eyed and tired into the living room. Cas was perched on the futon with a thick book in his hands, he drew his head up at the sound of socked feet against the hardwood.

"I thought you'd gone comatose." This was Cas' way of hello.

"Not yet." Dean wandered into the laughably small kitchen to stick the cup in the microwave for a minute or two. He ran hands through his slightly greasy hair, pulling it up into it's regular position, glancing at himself in a mirror hanging on the door across the hall. He retrieved his coffee, sipping and joining Cas on the black futon, yanking a fluffy blanket from the top and throwing it over his own lap. He pushed Cas' book up to see the title, asking, "Whatcha readin'?"

"Darwin's Origin of Species." He adjusted the glasses against the bridge of his nose, pushing them up, "I've been meaning to, y'know."

"Yeah I remember you saying that." Dean glanced out through the small, fogged up window, seeing night beginning to fall. "You could have woken me up, Cas. You shouldn't have to spend all day and night alone."

"I'm not alone." He grinned, as the cat, as if on cue, jumped up onto the arm of the futon. "Plus you looked so tired, I didn't want to bother you." He dog-eared the page he was on, knowing he would get no reading done with Dean around, setting it on the clunky old coffee table in front of them. "Rough night?"

Dean shook his head, rubbing his eyes, "God, doctors are just the worst type of people. First of all, they don't even know what theyre doing, drug-wise. You have no idea how many times I have to stop doctors from killing people in one damn night. They don't even pay attention. Then, on top of that, they walk around with this arrogance and attitude like they have every answer in the world when the nursing staff is far more capable and better trained and-"

He was met with a kiss, mashing the words to a halt against warm lips. Dean purred and leaned into it, gratefully accepting the offer. He blindly set his coffee down on the table, reaching up to run a hand through Cas' messy bedheaded dark hair. After a moment of needy kissing, Cas pulled away with a flushed pair of lips, shyly grinning, "Sorry, you just… looked so pissed, so I-"

"Thank you."

Cas beamed, "So, doctors are assholes, as per usual.." He led with a limp wrist for Dean to continue his story, but instead of continuing Dean just grinned back at him with a lovesick puppy expression on his face.

"You're so damn smart."

"Huh?" Cas chuckled, taking a sip of his own steaming earl grey tea.

Dean gestured at the book, then to Cas, "You're so, so smart, is all." He touched the thick book, running his fingers along the leather binding, "You read the Origin of Species for leisure for fuck's sake. You're just... Brilliant, is all I mean."

Cas grinned against the brim of his cup, "This isn't another ploy to get me to go back to school, is it, Dean?"

"No. I'm just commenting." He took a glug of his black coffee. Cas cringed. He added against the mug, "But I wish you would."

Cas sighed, "I know. We just don't have the money right now."

"I'll make the money. Money isn't a problem, Cas. I know you want to be in school. You fucking love it there. Amongst... Academics." He made a fleeting hand gesture, referring out towards the window.

"You're optimistic to a fault, Dean." He sipped his tea, with that air of knowing all the answers to the universe but not the energy to speak them. He often looked like that. It drove Dean crazy yet drew him in closer, thinking maybe someday, in some way he could get Cas' faultless exterior to crack and pour all the secrets out. He stared at his blue eyes. Cas licked a droplet of tea off his lip, blushing lightly.

"Quit it."

"No." Dean scooted in closer, crunching Cas up against the arm of the futon, hovering in his space. Cas nearly tipped the cup of tea, Dean grabbed it from his hand, setting it aside. Cas' mouth quirked, but his body accepted the weight whole heartedly, Dean felt him sink gratefully into the cushions.

"Were the doctors mean to you?"

"No, just bossy. And pretentious." Cas pushed up against Dean's body, lips meeting his neck, fingers clutching into his bare shoulder. The apartment began to grow cold as the sun fell lower and lower. Another fault in their "perfect" place, broken heater. Cas worked at a knot in Dean's muscular shoulder, cooing,

"You're smarter than any one of those stuck up doctors."

Dean relaxed from the touch of Cas' strong hand on his aching muscles, murmuring, "They have the degrees, babe, they get the recognition."

"It's a stupid world." He dug at the knot in Dean's shoulder, making a face, "You're tense."

"I'm always tense."

"Turn over." Cas commanded softly in his ear. He obeyed, rolling over on the couch and letting Cas perch atop him. He felt two strong hands dig into his tight shoulders, he involuntarily moaned.

"Oh god, that's so good."

"Jeez, Dean." He pushed hard into the knots, squeezing them down into pulps to move the blood down his back. He did this repeatedly until it almost hurt. Dean mewled and sighed all the way along, eyelids drooping and lips falling slack. Cas knew him like a blueprint, grabbing all his pressure points and working them to putty. Dean was malleable under his strong, calloused artist hands.

He felt Cas' pelvis press harder down onto him as he massaged deeper at the tight muscles of his trapezius. Dean groaned, "ah-mmmm,” and melted into the cushions, letting a hot breath out against the black fabric. Cas pushed harder, Dean whimpered slightly. Cas drew back,

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” His eyebrows drew over his deep blue eyes.

“Only in the best way.”

Cas grinned, continuing the massage, murmuring, “Not the best way.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, “What was that?”

“Nothing, nothing.” He chuckled, huffing a warm laugh against the back of his neck. Dean grinned and let out a hard sigh.

“Thank you so much. Work has been hell lately.” Castiel replied by leaning down to press a kiss between his shoulderblades, smiling at the freckles that rested there and running his fingertips up and down Dean’s sides. The man full out giggled and squirmed from the touch, whimpering, “Hey, c’mon, not fair.”

Cas ignored him, continuing to tickle and make Dean writhe, his body churning beneath him. Dean let out a crackly laugh, turning on the futon and instead pinning Cas beneath him. He planted a kiss on the brunette’s cheek, the two of them fighting for dominance, rolling until they fell to the floor, knocking the cheap coffee table over on it’s side. Cas’ glasses got knocked off his face in the process, but he won, straddling over Dean and laughing triumphantly.

Dean tried to reach up over his head to grab the glasses up off the floor, but Cas pinned his wrists in a swift push. Dean huffed, reasoning, “Cas, I don’t want them to get broken.”

“Don’t worry about the stupid glasses.” He pushed down on him, devouring the warm skin resting at Dean’s throat, humming into it and suckling. “Just relax, you’re not at work. Nobody is dying.”

Dean frowned, “Just because I’m not there doesn’t mean they’re not dyi-” He was cut off by a warm kiss.

“Shhh, the other nurses will take care of it.” He nuzzled Dean’s hair, mussing it up with his hands. “Let me take care of you.” It was barely a whisper. Dean’s heart fumbled, missing a beat and sputtering. They’d been together nearly a year and Cas never failed to make his heart stutter with every kiss. Cas hypnotized him with sloppy kisses trailing across his collarbones, “You need to learn how to relax.”

“Can’t.” Dean grabbed a handful of dark hair, yanking him up to meet his lips, grazing his bottom lip with his teeth and moving his other hand down to grip at a clump of itchy fabric at the small of his back. He was wearing one of those dopey sweaters, this one happened to be one of Dean’s favorites because the purple hue of it made Cas’ eyes almost violet like Elizabeth Taylor’s. Every time he said that Cas got embarrassed and quiet, so he mashed his mouth instead.

The sweater scratched against Dean’s chest as they kissed so he began to roll it up Cas’ tanned torso, pushing him slightly away to yank the thing over his head. Cas looked down at him with big, hazy eyes, grinning like a drunk, his cheeks flushed and lips plump from sucking. Dean gazed back at him with equally plump lips and freckled, flushed cheeks, eyes wide and attentive. Cas bit his cheek, cooing, “You’re so gorgeous.”

Dean scoffed.

“Masculine… I meant masculine.” He chuckled, gnawing on his earlobe, “And… strong.” He brushed light fingertips over Dean’s noticeably built bicep and forearm, smooching down his chest and running his tongue down his abs toward his nearly blonde happy trail. Dean’s stomach jumped with butterflies, clenching and twittering. He cast his eyes down on Cas with piqued interest.

Cas planted his lips on the front of his boxers, smirking up at Dean, mumbling, “I’ve missed you.” Dean typically didn’t work the graveyard shift, but the hospital was short-staffed so (being the kind of guy he is) he offered to help out. Cas was supportive, but not ecstatic. He mouthed the outline of his thickening dick, muttering around the shape of it, “You work too much.”

Dean gasped and hummed deep in his throat, “Mmmm, I know baby.” His mouth gaped at the feeling of Cas’ warm mouth on top of his growing hard-on, willing the thin layer of fabric between them to disappear. Cas continued to tease him, fingers dipping between his legs, hovering and warm. “Caaas,”

Cas pulled his face up, grinning, “Bedroom?”

“Now.” Cas moved off him with a smirk, as Dean quickly followed, grabbing a slender shoulder and shoving Cas up into the wall, gnawing at his jugular. Cas purred, wrapping his arms around his neck and digging fingers into his short hair.

Dean sidestepped into the threshold of the bedroom door, taking a few clumsy steps to the edge of the bed and falling on top of Cas in a heap. Cas ground his body up against Dean’s hardness, panting and feeling himself harden through his sweats. His voice scraped against his throat, “Turn over.”

Dean rolled over like an obedient puppy, sporting a big hard on through his boxers, which Cas promptly removed, yanking down his long legs. It couldn’t have been a second that passed before Cas’ mouth was on him, tongue moving up the length of him, Dean panting needy. Cas removed his mouth to suckle on his fingers and play between Dean’s legs, making his thighs fall apart in a limp movement. Dean panted Cas’ name, whimpering for him.

Cas replaced his mouth with his hand, then moved down, kissing Dean’s thighs on the way down, tongue caressing his puckered tightness. Dean gasped, jolting up in the bed and moaning long and weak, “Caaas!” He blushed, lying back down at the command of Cas’ hand on his hip pushing him back into the mattress. He panted unsteady, grabbing the sheets around himself and mewling as Cas tongued him.

Swiftly, Cas snuck a finger into him, kissing his inner thigh to keep him distracted. Dean reached over at the nightstand to grab the bottle of lube they kept hidden in the drawer. He fumbled with it but finally grabbed it, tossing it down to Cas with a shy grin. Cas poured it over his fingers, sucking a hickey into Dean’s thigh. The room became hot quickly, fogging up the window and making the tapestry that hung against the glass stick to the condensation. Cas insisted on decorating the place, painting all over the walls and hanging Christmas lights in odd places, leaving swatches of paint on the walls and tapestries draped over corners and windows.

Dean had never lived in a place so artistically inspired, and he’d never been around anyone so artistically charged as Cas. The entire apartment was strewn with paint, brushes, canvas and pencil shavings. Dean didn’t mind the clutter, it was slightly organized in it’s own odd way. Never before had he lived with so many books either, just being around Cas had made him a smarter, more cultured person. Cas insisted on constant education, it kept him sharp and ten steps ahead of Dean at all times. He didn’t mind. He knew he was no intellectual match for Cas, though Cas didn’t seem to believe that.

“Ohhh god, Cas,” A warm mouth replaced fingers, tongue toying with him, working him to fall apart. It didn’t take much. Dean felt the sweat pooling at his clavicle, voice breaking and whimpering for Cas to end the foreplay already.

Cas suddenly pulled up from between his legs, placing a hand on either thigh, smiling down at him with wet lips, “Look at you,” he mused, eyes walking up and down Dean’s flushed, naked body. “Perfect.” He kissed into his low stomach, hand wandering up his torso and pinching a nipple.

“Ca-as, pleeeease.” Cas grinned at the plea, leaning over his warm body to kiss him soft, nonchalantly pulling down his own zipper. Dean heard the metallic rip, reaching at his hips to force the jeans down his legs, yanking boxers along too. Cas kicked the offending garments off, pressing close to Dean, their chests slack, mouths warm and sloppy with eagerness.

Dean rocked up against him, whimpering against his lips. Cas stroked his side, trailing down to his thigh and lifting it so his leg could hook up around his hip. His other leg followed magnetically, Dean opened his eyes and panted, sucking on Cas’ warm bottom lip. Finally, Cas pushed into him, with a groaning sigh against Dean’s mewling mouth.

His legs tightened, air escaping his lungs in a whooshing sigh, jolting up slightly into Cas’ welcoming arms. He let himself be hugged tight against the warmth of his lover, gasping against his shoulder as he began to thrust against him. He needed this, god he needed this. To just be pampered and held and loved; to forget all the bullshit he faced every single day.

He just wanted to help people when it came down to it, that’s why he became a nurse. His intention was to become a doctor, but he soon settled for where he was, seeing that nurses did much more good than anyone else. He wanted to save people because he couldn’t save his mother, and because his dad couldn’t save himself. It was what he’d promised himself to do since he had to watch his family disintegrate into the lonely unit it was now.

“Love you.” Cas breathed into his neck, holding Dean’s hips and rocking into him steady and hard. He pressed a kiss to Dean’s mouth, which was returned with an enthusiastic melt of lips. They molded into each other, bodies sliding into place. Cas pawed at his messy hair and muscles, murmuring words of adoration against his slick skin.

Dean shuddered, “Love you too,” gripping his shoulders and trying to hang on through the rough ride. Cas flipped him over in an instant, gripping his taut ass and rocking into him hard. Dean gasped against the pillows, gripping the foam layer of mattress in his fists. “Cas!” He felt fingernails claw down his back, which made him moan against the sheets.

“D-Dean, D-” He whimpered as he came, fast and hard, riding out his orgasm with a few smaller thrusts, flipping Dean over to take him in his mouth hungrily. Dean nearly screamed, mind fogging up from all the various attention. He came quickly after; watching with heavy-lidded eyes as Cas wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes sparkling and narrowed.

They dug under the layers of sheets, wrapping up in each other, Cas planting a small kiss on Dean’s pectoral, begging, “Please don’t go to work tomorrow.”

“Well of course I can’t, because I have strep throat.” He feigned a cough with a smile. Cas grinned and snuggled into him, kissing the side of his mouth and mumbling,

**“Good.”**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say to those of you who still read my shit, THANK YOU. I'm so sorry I haven't been updating. I'm a senior in college and it's SUPER HARD TO FIND THE TIME. 
> 
> But for those of you homies sticking around with me, THANK YOU, You are BEAUTIFUL SOULS

"This is going to be the best engagement ring for any couple, comes in so many shapes and sizes! You can customize-" Cas clicked the power button, stepping over the pile of half-finished canvases stacked next to a pile of half-finished books. He reached down to pick up the stack of plates that had been accumulating in his workspace, heading over to the kitchen to take care of it before Dean woke up. He glanced at the microwave, the time read 5:50 pm, he sighed softly. He was trying to be selfless, trying to support the hard work his partner was doing but he'd be lying if he didn't admit it was putting a strain on him having Dean gone 15 hours a day or more. He was beginning to get claustrophobic in the small apartment and it was impacting his artwork. 

He glanced at the last painting he'd been working on, it was the beginnings of what was supposed to be a blackbird in a cage but at the moment it looked like a couple of messy brush strokes. He pushed his fist into his lower back, leaning back into it, making his bones pop. As they crackled he looked around the barely one hundred square-foot apartment, but in the heart of Seattle this is quite spacious. Hell, it's bigger than the dorm Cas had been living in during his undergrad, so he had considered it a huge improvement. Now, about a year later the apartment was starting to feel like a trap. He glanced at his degree hanging on the wall, where Dean had insisted on putting it, it read in big fancy letters "Bachelor's of Fine Arts awarded to Castiel Novokov". He hated his name, he used to get tormented in school because of it. He didn't remember much of living in Russia, since he was transplanted to the US when he was four years old. It made growing up very difficult, not to mention the fact that any time he did get a friend to come over they would be berated by his overbearing, thickly accented Russian mother who would ask a series of at least 20 questions about their heritage followed by shoving some sort of weird food into their face. 

Cas grinned, shaking his head and reaching out to pick up Yankovic, their cat. He whined, pushing his paws into Cas' shoulder, begging to be set down. Cas pressed a kiss to his forehead before opening the small window that lead out to their tiny balcony fire escape. Yankovic stood there, staring back through the window at Cas with his bright yellow eyes, his bushy black tail flicking back and forth before he turned and slunk away to go wander the street. Cas felt a small twinge of jealousy, wishing he could just up and leave whenever he felt like. 'But what's stopping you?' He thought to himself for a long moment, glancing toward the bedroom where Dean was sleeping. 'Oh don't blame him.' Castiel rolled his eyes at himself, of course he wasn't blaming Dean... it was his own social anxiety that kept him from going out and doing anything, meeting anyone. He can't even recall the amount of times Dean has tried to make Cas attend an art gallery or submit his work somewhere, but Cas just couldn't climb out of his funk.

"Hey baby," Dean's voice jarred him, snapping him out of his own thoughts. 

"H-Hey Dean." 

"Did I scare you?"

"A little." He grinned. "I just didn't hear you get up, sorry." 

Dean circled him, wrapping his arms around Cas' torso from behind, pressing a kiss to his stubbly jaw. "Ooh, you haven't shaved in a few days."

"Or showered." Cas made a cringing face. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Dean dug his fingers into Cas' slightly-greasy dark hair, sniffing his neck. "I like your smell."

Cas turned and buried his face into Dean's chest shyly, he felt arms wrap tight around him. Cas sighed, "How'd I get so lucky?"

Dean shrugged, kissing the top of his head. He squeezed him tighter, making Cas gasp for air, he chuckled. "What do you wanna do tonight, cutie?"

Cas did a double-take, making sure he heard that correctly. "Wait, what? I thought you had to go in."

Dean grinned, thumb stroking Cas' dimpled chin. "I switched shifts." He gave Cas a quick smooch, "I know me working so much has been hard for you and that's why I wanted to go out on a date or something tonight. Have a little fun." 

Cas felt like crying, it's like Dean had been reading his thoughts. "I love you so much." 

"I love you too baby, now get one of those doofy sweaters on, okay?" He turned to search for his keys, spotting them hanging from the corner of the bookcase. "I'm hungry."

He snatched the keys in his hand, Cas ran off to the room to change, grabbing his favorite Seattle U sweatshirt and slipping into his tore-up black jeans. He emerged moments later to a wolf whistle from Dean. "Stop it!" He blushed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, reaching down to tie on his boots. Dean slung his heavy leather jacket over his shoulders then reached out for Cas' hand as he stood. The pair exited swiftly, Dean turning around to lock the door and the deadbolt. Terrible, fluorescent lights buzzed above them, lighting the dingy hallway carpet and bland white walls that lead out of their apartment complex. They walked down three flights of stairs, finally stepping outside into the light drizzle of (near constant) rain. Dean pulled Cas closer to his side, holding his hand above Cas' forehead to protect it from the droplets. 

"I'm not made of sugar, Dean." Cas scoffed, teasing his overly-protective lover. "A few drops of rain won't hurt me."

A flash of green eyes met his then darted away, a grin forming around his mouth. "Shh."

"You spoil me." 

"I know, but I like to. So just let me do it." The pair walked side-by-side, with Dean's arm wrapped around Cas' middle, headed toward the subway station. A man and a woman walked toward them, hand in hand, going the opposite direction. The woman's eyes seemed to light up as she walked toward them, a grin touching her lips while the man stared off ahead. Another couple passed them, and another. A couple steps away from the station and a man passed them, headed the opposite way, who with a look of disgust muttered under his breath, "Fucking faggots."

Cas' eyes darted up to Dean's face in panic, hoping he hadn't heard what the guy said because he knew Dean had a very short fuse. To his dismay, Dean had heard it. Before Cas could react, Dean stomped into the man's path, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket, "Excuse me? What was that?" Cas could've swore he saw the man's shoes lift from the pavement. The man looked completely caught off-guard, huffing in a quick breath, words spilling out, 

"I didn't say shit, man, fucking let go of me!" Cas' heart dropped as people started to turn toward them. 

"So you're not only a homophobe, but a coward too. Nice." Dean abruptly released his hold on the man, making him stumble a few steps backward. A few random passerby people had stopped what they were doing to look at the commotion. Dean realized this. He snarled, under his breath so only the guy could hear him. "The only reason I'm not gonna rip you a new asshole is because there's witnesses and my boyfriend and I are late for dinner. Next time you wanna talk shit, bring your balls, got it?"

The dude nodded rapidly, jumping to walk away as soon as possible. He moved into the underground, nearly running down the stairs toward the subway. Dean hissed out a slow, labored breath, trying to calm the flurry of anger inside him. Cas' fingers weaved into the spaces between his, looking up at him, cooing, "C'mon, let's eat baby." Dean gripped his hand in return, taking a deep breath and moving toward the ticket kiosk. He scanned his card and started down the stairs with Cas, finding a spot on a bench to chill while they waited for their train. 

The two sat in silence for a solid two minutes before Cas carefully broke the ice, "People like that just... aren't worth the energy."

"I had to do something. What was I supposed to do? Sit there and be called a faggot? Let you be called that? No fucking way." Cas sighed. Dean continued, voice raising, "People don't just get to say whatever the fuck they want to say to me!"

"I just..."

"Just what?!" 

"I just don't want you to get a charge for something stupid."

"I didn't hit the guy, did I?"

"No, but.."

"I should have." 

"Dean."

"I know. I'm sorry, I just..." 

"I know and he was in the wrong, I just don't want you to have to go to jail because of some jackass' stupid comments. You've got to have more self-control than that."

"Hey, I didn't hit him. That's a serious improvement for me. You have no idea, Cas." 

"No, I know, and I'm proud of you..."

"But..." Dean glued his eyes to Cas'.

Cas opened and closed his mouth. "Nothing."

Their train arrived, screechy breaks interrupting their conversation. The two climbed on, squeezing into the crowded space, both grabbing at handles hanging from the ceiling. They didn't talk much the ride there but Cas felt Dean's fingers clutch at his wrist, pulling him off at their stop. They exited the subway, returning to the wet streets of Seattle, closer to the outskirts of the city now, only a few blocks away from their favorite Italian restaurant L'uccellino. The place is known only to locals as it rested just outside the hotspot of tourism by the space needle and everything. Dean had stumbled upon it by accident, taking one of his many past female lovers there but when he took Cas is when it became his favorite. 

They walked in, immediately greeted by warm air and dimly lit lanterns on wine-colored walls. Giovanni Rossi, the owner happened to be standing at the counter and recognized the two of them, exclaiming excitedly, "Boys! My boys! How are you doing?" Giovanni was a surprisingly small man, covered head to toe in thick, black hair but what he lacked in height he made up for in girth, probably twice as wide as he was tall. He had warm, rosy cheeks and a booming laugh, with a personality that made Cas miss his mom. He walked up with a warm embrace and kissed each of their cheeks, in European fashion. "You work too hard, I no see you anymore!" 

"I know, I know. Working myself to death. How are you? How's business?" Dean returned the embrace, clamping a hand down on Giovanni's shoulder. Mrs. Rossi peered from behind the curtain leading to the kitchen with a small grin toward them, she understood no English whatsoever. 

"Business... eh, is not so good. But what can you do, that's why I have my side hustles, right?" His thick Italian accent was musical, even with his weathered voice. Giovanni had to be at least fifty but his wife's age was ambiguous, to say the least. She was completely stunning and way out of his league with thick, curly mahogany locks and bright green eyes with olive skin. Her body was flawless and it made Dean wonder what compelled her to marry a short, fat man like Giovanni. "Welcome back, I so happy you come. We miss you here."

Castiel spoke up for the first time since arriving, "Thank you, Giovanni." 

"Oh, Picasso! You always welcome." He beamed and led them to 'their' booth. On the middle of the round table there was a vase with a single white rose resting in it, next to a huge dripping candle, very old school. The entire dining room was empty except for a group of roughly six men, all in suits. Dean grinned, nudging Cas, "Look, it's the mafia."

Cas shushed him, "Don't joke about that!"

"What? You don't wanna get whacked?" Dean whispered in a really bad Italian accent. 

Cas cringed, "Dean." 

"You'll be sleepin' with the fishes." Dean chuckled. 

Cas opened his mouth to reprimand him but as he did their server appeared. His name tag read "Luca" and neither of them recognized him. He looked like he was maybe eighteen, with a barely-there mustache and long, lanky body. He cleared his voice awkwardly and said, "Hello and welcome to L'uccellino, my name is Luca and I will be taking care of you gentlemen tonight, what brings you out?" 

Cas responded, easily, gently, "Just date night, nothing special." 

Luca nodded, "Well thank you for joining us." He coughed slightly. "Tonight's specials include our signature stromboli, fresh lasagna, and delicious fettuccine alfredo, all those come with a soup, salad and breadsticks." 

"That's why I love this place." Dean scanned the menu excitedly, feeling his stomach roar.

Luca smiled softly, "Can I get some drinks started?"

Dean met Cas' eyes softly, grinning, "You want some wine?"

Cas nodded. Dean proceeded to order, "Two glasses of your pinot griggio, please." 

"Five ounces, or nine?"

Dean smirked, "Never been asked that here. We'll take the nine."

Luca opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted by a booming voice, "What you thinka my nephew, huh?" 

"This is your nephew? Cool! Very nice to meet you Luca." Dean reached out his hand. The young man timidly shook his hand, looking back and forth between his uncle and the two men.

"We old friends, they been coming here a few years now, Luca. Go get their wine!" He gave his nephew a shove toward the kitchen, laughing loudly. 

Dean chuckled, "Don't be too hard on the kid, he did a really great table greet."

"I make him recite it ten times before he brusha his teeth and twenty times before he go to bed." He huffed out another laugh, "It better be great!"

Castiel cleared his throat softly, "Is he.. under your care?"

Giovanni's expression fell, "Ah, yeah his mama, my poor sister Theia, married a snake who ended up killin' her. I'm all the kid's got anymore." 

"Oh my god, that's awful!" Cas' face crumpled in empathy.

Giovanni nodded sadly, but shrugged, "You cannot change the past. What's done is done." 

Two glasses of wine later, the pair were feeling a little giggly. Luca arrived with their food, setting the lasagna in front of Cas and the stromboli in front of Dean. "Thank you" Cas gazed at the steaming food with lustful eyes. They each tried a bite, Dean moaning and groaning with each bite he took, Cas laughing at him. Soon they were both full, groaning at the amount of food they'd eaten. Yet, here came Mrs. Rossi with a slice of tiramisu, that they hadn't ordered of course. She set it down between them, smiling, speaking in a thick accent, "Hello, you try my tiramisu? Please, yes?"

Both men were stunned by her beauty, unable to turn the offer away, nodding in agreement. She beamed, flashing shiny white teeth, then turned to retreat to the kitchen. Cas gulped, staring at the dessert like it might attack him. "I cannot take another bite, but I don't want to be rude."

"You know we have to eat it." They both knew Dean was right. There is no such thing as refusing food in a European restaurant, especially an Italian one. They each took a bite of the tiramisu experimentally, then another and before they knew what had happened it was gone. Giovanni arrived at their table, shouting, laughing, "Nobody turn down my wife's tiramisu!" 

They all chatted, eventually paid their bill and gave Luca a nice tip. Dean called behind himself, "Thanks again for a great night, Gio!" 

"You always welcome, boys! You come back, okay?"

"Of course." Cas grinned, tucking his arm around Dean's middle, under his jacket. Outside was desolate, Dean checked his phone.

"Oh my god it's midnight!" 

"Seriously?" 

"Yeah, wow, we were there for a while." 

"Time flies..." Cas reached up to caress Dean's cheek, giving it a peck. "When you're having fun." 

"Dork." Dean took his hand and began walking toward the nearest sub station. They walked in silence for a while, just breathing in the chilly night air. It was late August, the feeling of fall was palpable in the air, ready to come at any moment. It was Castiel's favorite time of year for several reasons, but one main reason being that his sweaters were in fashion during the fall. Another reason, less people visited the emergency room as summer died down. More Dean time, more nights like tonight. He glanced up at the gorgeous man standing beside him. 

Dean noticed him looking and met his gaze, smiling a small, cheeky grin. "What?"

"Nothing. Just admiring." Cas blinked his blue eyes slowly, dreamily. He pushed his body weight into Dean, cuddling closer, "Thank you again for tonight. I really needed to get out." 

"Of course, baby. I love taking you out." At this point they'd reached the apartment, Dean began sniffing the air.

Cas laughed, "What are you doing?"

"Do you smell that?"

"Smell what?"

Obviously not. Dean sniffed again, smelling what definitely smelled like something burning. He worried it was one of his neighbor's apartments and began running down the hall, Cas calling behind him. "Dean! Where are you going?" He began running too. Dean reached their door, seeing black smoke billowing out from under the crack between the bottom of the door and the floor. He reached for the doorknob but released it as soon as he touched it, hissing in pain.

"Dean!" Cas reached him, seeing and smelling the smoke now, tugging Dean backward from the heat.

"Fuck! You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Cas pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911, taking a few steps away from Dean so the operator could hear him. The response was quick. Cas responded,

"Hello, yes, um.. My, my apartment is on fire." a pause. "Oh, yes my address is 145 North Commonwealth Avenue, third floor, apartment number 209." Castiel thanked the operator and hung up the call.

He reached out for Dean's hand, "Did you burn it?"

"Yes I burned it!" He roared, then took a breath and caught himself. "Sorry baby.. yes I burned my hand." 

"Come here, let me see how bad it is." Dean uncurled his hand, revealing pink, swollen flesh. "Oh jeez Dean..." 

"You're not taking me to the hospital. It's my goddamn night off."

"Dean, your hand is badly burned, we're going to the hospital." He coughed on the smoke, "Come on, let's go wait outside." 

Dean snapped his head toward the apartment, "What about Yankovic?!"

Cas' heart jumped. "Oh god... I hope he's still outside. I let him out earlier tonight." 

They rushed outside, calling the cat's name over and over again. They were beginning to lose hope when a fire truck arrived, scaring Yankovic out of his hiding spot behind a dumpster. He ran over to his daddies and jumped into Cas' arms, visibly shaken. Cas stroked his fur, cooing, "Oh thank god you're okay, you scared the shit out of me, Yankee." 

Dean sighed in relief, stroking the feline's little nose. A fire man approached them, "Are you the guy who called?"

Cas responded, "Yes, it's our apartment. I don't know how it caught fire... I don't ever light candles before leaving."

"Well, we'll figure out what caused it later, for now we're just making sure everyone who lived in there is out. Is it just the two of you sharing the apartment?"

"Yes. And our cat, right here. We're all safe."

"Good. Now, you guys go relax in the ambulance, we're gonna go handle this."

"Thank you so very much for your help and service." Dean scoffed a little at Cas' ridiculous politeness. 

The fire man just gave a nod and rejoined his crew. Dean glared at his burned hand. "I can't fucking believe this, Cas. What the fuck are we gonna do? We have nowhere to stay, all of our shit was in there..." His eyes began filling with hopeless tears.

Cas bit his lip, setting Yankovic down gently and reaching to cup Dean's face in his hands. "Dean, look at me." Misty green eyes met blue. "It's just things. Okay? I know it doesn't seem that way... but it's all just things... we have each other right here. Could you imagine if one of us were in there? Or if Yankovic was?"

Dean nodded, trying to put things into perspective. "I know... I just... what are we gonna do?"

Cas' eyes began welling up, he fought the feeling of hopelessness, trying to be strong for Dean. He cleared his throat, "We'll figure it out, okay?" 

Dean buried his face into Cas' chest, hugging him for support, still in shock about this actually happening. "Okay."

"Hey," Cas pulled Dean's chin up from his chest. "I love you."

Dean smiled weakly, "I love you too, baby." 

They shared a passionate, warm kiss sitting in the ambulance as flames and smoke rose from the third floor, pouring out their tiny window into the black night air.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging in there, again you people are fantastic.

Rows of pale furniture lined the spacious waiting room that was color-coordinated to perfection in pastel greens and shades of grey, decorative pots of sprouting ferns accented the drab design of the place. Cas squinted, peering at a stock photo of a frog on a lily pad while a woman's soft voice broke the endless stream of elevator music coming from the speakers, requesting Dr. whoever to go somewhere, Cas couldn't be bothered with that information. He glanced timidly at his wounded lover, tightening his grip on his good hand.

"I can't believe we've been waiting this long." Irritation colored Castiel's usually calm demeanor. His slender shoulders raised to a point, his blood beginning to boil. 

"I'm not special, Cas." 

Cas scoffed, "It's more serious than you're making it. I am really worried you might have nerve damage, Dean." 

"It's not that bad."

"What if you can't use that hand anymore?"

Their little squabble was interrupted by a small blonde woman in flower-printed scrubs, announcing, "Dean, we're ready to see you now."

The pair stood swiftly, Cas shifting his grip, snaking his arm around Dean's waist. Dean normally would have shied away from the PDA but considering the pain he was in he welcomed the gesture. The little woman smiled at them, welcoming them through a door and into a small room with stainless steel counters and a stiff bed. The small lady peeped, "Dr. Porter will be in shortly."

As soon as she exited the room Dean let out a sigh of relief, "Thank god they're givin' me somebody competent."

Cas rubbed Dean's back in small, soothing circles, grinning softly, "That's possible in a doctor?"

Dean let out a laughing sigh, "Thanks for staying by my side."

"Of course, where else would I be?"

Dean looked up at him, reaching up to tug on his neck and pull him closer, breathing him in slowly. Cas shuddered, somehow always caught off guard by Dean's affection. He melted into the touch, turning to press his lips to Dean's, letting a soft moan pass between their lips. After a moment or two of that, Cas stepped backward, clearing his throat and smiling.

Dean gazed at him with lusty eyes, a smirk touching his lips.

Cas opened his mouth to warn him not to look at him like that but as he did so the doorknob turned. 

Through the door, a tall woman probably around the age of 40 entered the room, her ID tag read "Daphne Porter" and the photo that accompanied it was quite flattering. She had a bundle of auburn curls held back by a weak hair tie, her face was round and lightly tanned. She shut the door softly behind herself, turning to smile at the two of them with warm brown eyes. "Good evening, gentlemen." She gave Dean a knowing glance, flashing her teeth in a grin, "I'm sorry to have to see you on your day off."

"Me too. You won't believe this- our fucking apartment burned down tonight."

"You're kidding!" Her voice jumped an octave, face warped in concern. They both nodded mournfully. She scrambled for words, "You're.. I mean everyone got out okay right?"

"Yes, yes, it's just us that live there, with our cat. Who is at a friend's at the moment." 

Cas sighed. Dean gripped his hand in support. 

"How awful." She glanced at Dean's crumpled hand. "May I?" She reached out long fingers.

He opened up his hand to her, revealing the pink, swollen flesh there. She cringed slightly, "That's a bad burn, Dean." She reached for a pair of thin glasses poking outside her coat pocket, unfolding them and putting them on swiftly. "At least a second degree burn, maybe third. You'll definitely be wanting some morphine tonight and I'll set you up with some take-home pain meds as well." She glanced to Cas, who looked sick.

She tried to sound reassuring, "I don't think the damage will be permanent as long as you let it heal correctly and don't overwork yourself." She stood to walk over to a cabinet, pulling out antibiotic ointment and bandages. She returned to Dean, gently spreading his fingers as far away from his palm as she could, adding ointment and carefully bandaging him. He hissed in pain, gripping the edge of the bed. She apologized, "I'm so sorry, Dean."

"You're fine. It's okay." He huffed out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. He felt Cas' fingers stroke his cheek. He closed his eyes, breathing through the pain. As soon as the bandage was wound around his entire hand, she stood to get a nurse to bring in some morphine, mentioning she'd be back soon. The two of them were no longer listening. Cas' eyes were glued to Dean's face as he stared regretfully at his injured hand. She shut the door softly behind herself. 

They sat in silence for a good minute before Dean sighed, breaking the silence. "How could everything go so wrong so fast?" His eyes were glued to the tiles below. 

Cas let out an unsteady breath, wondering that himself. He forced himself to say something that would comfort Dean, "Life is funny like that."

Dean's voice cracked with sarcasm and hurt. "Funny." 

Cas backed up, "Maybe funny was the wrong word.."

Cas had no idea how 'funny' Dean's life had been. First he lost his mother to a fire when he was four years old, then he lost his father to alcoholism and loneliness. After that, he lost his brother to a girl. Life had a sick fucking sense of humor. He got a bitter taste of bile in his mouth, making him cringe and cast his pained gaze far away from Cas. Cas knew that look, he'd seen it several times before when he'd tried to ask Dean about his troubled past. It was a stone wall that was incapable of breaking, Cas had given up on asking because it upset him so deeply, he'd rather just be ignorant. Castiel's soft touch broke Dean from his thoughts.

"Baby, I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry.." 

Dean cleared his throat roughly, "No. I'm sorry."

The nurse entered timidly, greeting them softly and beginning to search Dean's arm for a vein. She found one easily, poked and prodded it then pierced the needle into it, rapidly pulling everything into place and giving the morphine bag a light squeeze. Without a word, she was gone as soon as she had arrived and Dean sighed happily as he felt the drug enter his bloodstream. He blinked slowly at Cas as he started to doze off, grinning like a dope. He felt Castiel's rough thumb brush across his lip and with that, he was gone. 

\--------------------

"Dean,"

20,000 leagues under the sea Dean heard a familiar, husky voice repeating his name but he just couldn't muster the strength to open his eyes. The voice grew closer, yet was still incredibly unreadable and far away. He felt fingers grip around his wrist, strong fingers. He felt something that could have been hair brush across his face and it made him twitch. He felt like he was lying under a thousand wet blankets, through the weight of the air he heard another softer, unrecognizable voice.

"Is he going to be alright?" 

"Yeah, looks like. Just a hand burn." The cool, smooth voice started sounding more and more familiar. So familiar that Dean didn't believe who it was until he opened his eyes. His heart imploded then dropped to his stomach as he blinked rapidly, taking in the sight of his estranged brother standing before him. He'd gotten taller, if that were even possible, his hair long and tucked behind an ear on one side, looking dark and more mature. His chiseled face sported a rather thick beard sprouting beneath his high cheek bones and around his smart-ass grin. By his side was the woman who'd stolen his heart and reasoning away from him, Jessica.

She was gorgeous as ever, bright white teeth glimmering around plump, pink lips. Her hair was even wilder and curlier than he'd remembered, kinky blonde curls sprouting out around her, as his eyes drifted downward he rubbed them to make sure he'd seen the baby bump correctly. Of fucking course. Dean groaned, turning in his starchy hospital bed, refusing to look at his brother any longer. Castiel entered his line of vision. Dean glared at him coldly. He had no idea that he'd not only brought his brother back into his life against his will, but he'd also outed him without realizing it. Sam had no idea Cas existed or that he and Dean were together. On two levels, Cas had fucked him. 

Cas began softly, "Dean... I..."

Sam coughed, "Jess and I can step out." 

As the door closed, Dean began to truly come to and sat up slowly, refusing to meet Cas' eyes. 

"Dean. I know... there is some tension between you two, but.. you're brothers. Right? I mean.. and considering.."

Dean exploded, beyond tired of Castiel's nosy nature. "Considering what? Considering the fact that we're orphans? We're supposed to be best fuckin' pals!?" 

Cas was taken aback a bit by Dean's anger. "Dean, I... I honestly didn't know who else to call for help. We have friends, sure, but this is a big thing to ask of a friend."

Dean began to catch up slowly, grinding his teeth, "What is a big thing to ask, Cas?"

Cas gulped, "Well.. considering that.. we're technically homeless now. And.. I don't have family to reach out to. I thought that... We.."

Dean's mind pieced it together, a blood vessel on his forehead popping in rage, "NO!"

He felt his blood boil, "How did you even contact him?"

Cas muttered, "Internet.."

"Fuck!" 

Cas shook lightly, "Dean.." 

"Absolutely fucking not, Cas!" He clenched his fists, forgetting about his charred hand and making himself hiss in pain. "You have no fucking idea what you've just done to me, Cas. No fucking clue."

Cas boiled with his own anger now, "Because you never tell me! You never let me in! How many times have I begged you to talk about your brother, your mom, your dad? How many times!?" Dean increased his rage to match. 

"He fucked me, Cas! He fucking left me to take care of our piece of shit dad while he went chasing some blonde TAIL." He shouted the last word pointedly toward the hallway at them. 

"Dean!" Cas grew red with embarrassment. 

"Don't tell me how to talk about my family, Cas. Back the fuck up." He snarled like an animal.

Cas' eyes grew wet with stinging tears. "I can't talk to you when you're like this!" He turned to leave, pushing through the door, rounding a corner to see Sam and Jess. He couldn't help the tears that poured over, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have involved you in this. You both seem like very nice people." His voice shook and Jess stood quickly to offer him a hug. He accepted cautiously, while Sam stood too, sighing. 

"That's my brother. He's a jackass but I love him." He ran a hand through his wavy hair. "I'll talk to him later." He put a reassuring hand on Cas' back, patting him gently. 

"So... I'm curious, how long have you two been..?" He gestured suggestively. 

Cas let himself smile. "A little over a year." 

"Fascinating." Cas didn't know what to make of that. Sam saw his look of confusion and tried to explain, "I... I used to know a very different Dean." 

Cas was intrigued. "How do you mean?"

Jess and Sam shared a knowing look. Jess delicately spoke, "Dean was always.. super macho. He went through women like underwear, one could say."

Sam chuckled. "It explains so much, seeing him with you now."

Cas felt almost offended, "I.. how am I supposed to take that?"

Sam backtracked, "No, I in no way meant that as an insult. It just explains why he was always so concerned about everyone seeing him as straight. It makes sense now." He added softly, "Does he make you happy?"

Cas nodded, unashamed of his love. "Immensely."

Sam and Jess both smiled. Sam's voice was warm, "I'm really glad to hear that." 

Cas gently sat himself down, looking between the two of them, remarking, "I can't understand why Dean wouldn't talk about you."

Sam's eyes filled with sadness. "There's a lot that happened in the past that Dean doesn't want to let go of."

\------------------------

Later on, after Dean got discharged with his bottle of pain meds and Cas at his side, they got into a shuttle car that was headed toward the hotel Sam and Jess had checked into for the night. In the morning, they'd all leave for Portland. Like a big fucking happy family. Dean glared outside the window the whole ride there, still refusing to speak to Cas. Cas tried to pretend it wasn't killing him inside. 

They arrived at the hotel, checking into their own room Sam had kindly paid for. It felt strange traveling with absolutely no belongings, Sam and Jess had taken the liberty of grabbing them a few essentials like a change of clothes, toothbrushes, shampoo, etc. Castiel got a slight nostalgic feeling from when he moved to the US so many years prior. It felt like starting from scratch all over again with no direction in mind. That thought scared each of them shitless and Cas wanted nothing more than to talk about it, but Dean was insistently bitter. 

Hours passed in silence, each of them lying on opposite sides of the bed, glaring at the walls. Cas broke the silence, turning on his side to look at Dean's back. "Baby." his voice broke.

The pain in his voice hurt Dean to hear and for a brief moment his anger fizzled away. He turned slowly, cautiously to meet his heartbroken gaze. The look in Cas' blue eyes felt like someone was stabbing his heart repeatedly. He swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat, feeling regretful for making Cas feel this way. Cas' eyes welled up with emotional tears. Dean reached out softly to stop a tear in its path as it slid down his pale cheek. 

"Cas." He broke his own silence. "I... I'm sorry. There's just.. a lot that I don't want to get into about my brother and I."

Cas swallowed his own lump in his throat, asserting, "Dean. If this is a serious relationship and you really do love me like you say you do, then you need to let me in."

Dean sighed, knowing he was absolutely right. "It's not easy for me."

"I know it's not, baby." Cas wormed his way into Dean's arms, cuddling into the nook of his neck. "Maybe if you talk about it you'll feel better." He wrapped his arms gently around Dean. 

Air caught in his throat as he tried to approach a way to even begin to talk about the pain Sam's leaving had inflicted upon him. Sam was all he had, with his father being so far gone drunk all the time, forever mourning their mother, Sam was the only bright spot in Dean's dreary life. When he left he took a big piece of Dean with him, a piece that had never been recovered. He didn't know how to say any of this to Cas without having a complete emotional breakdown. Cas gazed up at him insistently. 

"Cas," Dean took his chin in his hand, studying his handsome face. "I promise I'll tell you what happened, but tonight can't be that night."

Cas nodded with understanding. "At your pace. I just want to be a part of your life, all of your life."

"I know. And that scares me." Dean hugged Cas closer. "I've never been in a real relationship like this... the feelings I have for you... they scare me."

Cas smiled against Dean's skin, planting soft kisses. "You think I wasn't terrified when we started dating? I thought it was all part of some cruel joke. There's no way in hell someone as gorgeous as you could love someone as mediocre as me."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Don't call yourself that."

"Dean."

"Yes, Cas?"

"I love you. I'm sorry I contacted your brother without your consent, but we need help and you're terrible at asking for help."

Dean nodded. "Guess I can't avoid him forever."

"It'll be good for you two to reconnect. I promise."

"Don't promise things you know nothing about, Cas."

"Just trust me once in a while, okay? Sam is a good man." 

"You just met him, how can you know that?" Dean's eyebrows knit together.

"He's part of you, of course he's good."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is hardly a full chapter but I just wanted to provide a transitional piece of them leaving Seattle, heading to Portland. More to come soon.

Thin strips of light began to pour into the room, coloring a thin path from the carpet up to the sheets on the bed, crossing over the gently breathing men until a strip of light crossed Dean's closed eyelid. His face twisted like he'd just bit into a lemon as one eye opened in a reflex. He groaned at the intruding light, his mind catching up to the present moment, pulling him rudely out of sleep. He blinked, taking in his surroundings, feeling a gentle push and pull of air against his chest as Cas slept there, wrapped around Dean. He chuckled, looking down at his torso, seeing Cas' leg wrapped around him there to match his arm draped over him, holding him close and tight. Dean lifted the arm that wasn't holding Cas' warm sleeping body to run his fingers through his jet black hair, lifting it from its crushed position against his shoulder. Cas stirred gently, muttering something unintelligible. 

Dean pulled him closer, kissing his forehead. "Castiel." He pronounced his name like an ancient tragic poem, annunciating its regal sound. 

Cas grinned into his chest, "What?"

Dean reached to tap his phone, checking the time, "It's nine, I'm sure Sam and Jess are waiting on us." 

Cas refused to move, groaning, "I'm too tired."

"C'mon baby, we've gotta get going."

"I don't wanna go. I don't know anybody in Portland." His voice took on a tone of genuine fear and anxiety.

Dean ran a hand through his hair then drifted down to touch his cheek. "I know, I'm scared too, but what choice do we have?" He sighed. "Everything we had was in that stupid apartment."

Cas nodded sadly, "I know." 

Dean sat up, gently pulling Cas up with him, lifting his chin so they could share a gaze. "Look at me." Blue melted into emerald, "Think of it as... a new start. Alright ?" 

Cas read the hope in Dean's eyes and didn't have the heart to say something negative so he faked a smile and nodded. "New start."

Dean's phone buzzed, he reached for it, reading:

       "Good morning, sleeping beauties. Jess and I are downstairs, they're serving free breakfast. Hurry, it ends at 9:30."

That was enough to motivate Dean out of bed, he sprang up, grabbing his tank top, slipping it over his head and stumbling toward the bathroom. Cas sat, rubbing his face groggily and slowly moving to stand. Dean returned with a toothbrush in his mouth and one in his hand with toothpaste ready to go for Cas. He stopped in his tracks and stared at Cas' naked body as he stretched his arms up over his head, he got rock hard instantly. Cas caught him staring, turning red in the cheeks. 

"Dean, don't ogle me." He reached at the nightstand for his glasses, slipping them on and running a hand through his messy raven-feathered hair. 

Dean choked a bit on his toothbrush, sputtering, "Kinda hard not to." Cas was tan from head to toe despite hardly ever stepping foot in the light of day, his skin was just this beautiful natural light olive tone. It was smooth and flawless head to toe, without a single blemish or marking. Dean loved his semi-muscular frame, long arms and legs with a strong core, lightly toned. He wondered if Cas bulked up if he would still be as attracted to him, or if part of his appeal was his lean frame. 

Cas moved to grab his underwear, Dean grumbled as he pulled up his boxers, taking away the sight of his perfect penis. Cas reached for his toothbrush, shaking his head playfully at Dean, muttering, "Sex fiend." 

"Only for you, baby." He moved to stand behind Cas, grabbing his hips and grinding into his ass.

"Knock it off, Dean. We don't have time for that."

"I know." He sighed.

"Plus, I'm still sore from last night."

\-------------------------

They stepped out of the elevator, Dean put his nose in the air, following the smell of maple syrup and coffee. Cas rolled his eyes at him, following close behind, watching his jean-clad ass as he walked. They entered the breakfast area, seeing a splay of tables in a wide 'common area', at one of them was Sam and his pregnant wife, who were both sipping at something in little foam cups. Dean headed straight for the food, ignoring them, while Cas headed to the table to join them, politely grinning, 

"Good morning."

"Morning." They chirped in unison, Cas wondered if he and Dean sounded like that. 

Jess tucked a curl behind her ear, setting her cup of orange juice down, smiling brightly at Cas, "Did you two sleep well?"

Flashbacks of rough sex, pounding the headboard into the wall, memory of himself crying out into a pillow flooded his mind. He nodded, "Yes, very well." 

"Oh good." She stabbed a piece of pineapple with her fork, lifting it to her lips delicately. Everything she did was very lady-like and proper.

Sam finished his cup of coffee, looking Cas over nonchalantly, trying to figure him out. He reached out to Jess, placing his hand protectively over her huge belly, commenting randomly to Cas, "A few more months and I'll be a dad." It seemed like he was speaking more to himself than anybody else, staring sightlessly at the table cloth. Jess touched his cheek, bringing him out of whatever daze he'd just slipped into. 

Cas furrowed his brow, wondering what their father had done to fuck each of them up so badly, a look of absolute terror crossed Sam's face. Jess leaned close to him, whispering something in his ear and petting his beard. Cas looked away, over to Dean who was raiding the breakfast table like a Viking. He pretended not to know him, casting his gaze elsewhere, and suddenly he felt awkwardly stuck. 

Sam saw his face, biting his lip and trying to find a way to make that interaction less weird. "I'm sorry... I'm just really afraid I'll turn into my father and I don't know if Dean's told you but... he was no gem."

Cas felt an emotion of pure frustration bubbling to the surface, "Actually, no. In the entire time I've known Dean he's mentioned your father maybe twice, and always in passing." 

Sam's expression fell. "Oh."

Suddenly two plates of food hit the table, accompanying them was Dean, looking way too excited, "Lookit all this great stuff!"

Cas tried to match his excitement, "Wow, looks good."

One plate was filled with pancakes, bacon, sausage, biscuits and gravy while the other was all fruit, crepes and croissants. Cas glanced at Jess' plate which was almost identical to his. He chuckled, taking a bite at his croissant and trying to imagine how he could look any gay-er. Maybe a pair of rainbow wings?

Cas watched Dean and Sam, studying each of their expressions as they ate across from each other. Neither said a word. Cas and Jess' eyes met in a shared look of anxiety. Cas was not looking forward to the car ride to Portland, imagining the horror of silence or even worse, the brothers going at it in a fight. Either way, it was going to be uncomfortable. Cas cursed to himself, wondering why Dean had to be so stubborn and thick-headed at times. He was sure Sam shared some of the blame, but he knew the lack of communication was probably all Dean. 

Soon enough, they were all finished eating, Sam and Jess pulled their Range Rover around to the front of the building. Cas turned to Dean, keeping his voice low as Sam and Jess were maybe ten feet away. "Promise me you'll talk to him at least."

Dean met his eyes, irritation on his face, but for Cas, he agreed, nodding softly. 

"Good. Thank you."

They walked toward the car, getting in, each casting homesick gazes out at the sun climbing over the buildings in the city they fell in love together in. As much as they both hated the smell of fish in the morning, it would feel strange not to wake up to it. Yankovic scratched around in his carrier, mewling and complaining. They felt like whining right along with him. Sam hit the highway, signs began saying "Now leaving Seattle". Dean reached over to twine his fingers through Cas', saying without speaking that everything was going to be alright somehow. 


End file.
